Stargate- The Movie

Slidell: Ok girlfriend, before we start SG1 why don't we do an uber quick recap of the movie...which I saw for the first time when I was like...ten?

Me: 10? Holy crap I'm old

Slidell: The movie not the show, gooober lol

Me: Yeah... I vaguely remember it

Slidell: shrugs

It's kinda like a Twilight prologue

not necessary, but there

Me: HISSS TWILIGHT

Slidell: bi*tch please

I only read it for the fights

Me: giggle ha ha ha

Slidell: whistles

Me: Ok, the STARGATE MOVIE... it stared Kurt Russell and James Spader

Slidell: Ah yes, when they were still hot....plus Ra was the shiz, imho...his outfits were rockin' it

Me: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111282/

Slidell: And we get to see them find the Stargate out in Giza...btw, history chick says that was a random a** place to put it

other than the fact that's where the pyramids and ship landing would have gone down

Me: Which is why it was set there I am sure.

Slidell: but it wasn't IN a pyramid like Abydos

Continuity aside, it was a great movie

that's why I sat down to watch SG1 the night it premiered

Me: I don't really remember it.

I do remember walking into my parents house and my dad was watching it

the show anyway

Slidell: Ok, so Jack was all sad because his son died, which was tragic and very very depressing....but this is Jack O'Neil with one "L"

I watched it with my parents too but that was so I didn't learn bad words...like the f bomb. So anyway...Nerdy washed up Jackson, Sad suicidal Jack...jaffa with no pouches and no Sam

Me: sniff no Sam

Slidell: (But the helmets were way more awesome)

Um....see, she was too young at the time, but I still think Charlize Theron would have made a great Sam

Me: Oh hell yeah they were... I think

Slidell: They glowed and moved and weren't the snakes

Me: But Ra was also the sun god... they didn't start with Apophis until the series

Slidell: Because Ra was dead and Apophis took his power vacuum suck place

They nuked him back to the BCE

Me: Right... but I am saying that is why there were no snakes

Slidell: I was just saying the snakes suck

Me: ok ok ok

Slidell: they look like bald muppets or something

anyway...no Charlize Theron

Me: snort bald muppets

Slidell: Jackson gets left on the planet

they bury the gate

Jack goes home and gets a divorce and on with his life

and here we are